There have been so many books, theories and surveys focused on how to maintain a personal relationship or marriage. It really does get confusing. Chemistry, respect and commonalities are all important considerations. Yet genuine friendship seems to somehow get downplayed in the long run.

The qualities of the other person – you know, the ones that were so endearing in the beginning? Are they now equally endearing, or simply commonplace, if not irritating? Has the relationship evolved along with the two of you, or has it stagnated? How healthy is the friendship compared to when you first met?

Genuine friendship is the foundation for any relationship, and must be nurtured every day, from moment to moment.  Friendships are NOT to be taken for granted, whether married or not.  They are fragile, and as one small hurt, neglect or resentment is compounded by another, the friendship dissolves, leaving only loneliness and a sense of bondage.

Why is it easier to be powerful in our friendships, yet so co-dependent in our partnerships? The belief that one partner is supposed to complete the other is a delusion.  Only disappointment will follow.

The ideal relationship is embodied in this image:– it’s from the deck of “Soul Cards.” It represents a man and a woman, standing back to back, both pointed in opposite directions, but holding hands. They are both living their lives, open to their destinies, but they are choosing to do it together. Thus, they are honoring themselves first, as individuals, and placing the relationship second. They are together because they want to be, not because they HAVE to be. THIS is what we call friendship. The foundation of a loving partnership.